Long story short, when I was a pre-teen, my dad was a farmer. In Florida, in July, I’d spend summer days hoeing nutgrass out of collard greens. Hot, nasty, and boring beyond belief. The voices ran freely in my mind. One of the workers convinced me that if I would give my life to Jesus that he would ease my burden. I was willing to try anything. On my knees, in the middle of a field, I was on my knees asking Jesus to ease my burden with four older black men with their hands on my shoulder praying with me. God looked down. He said in no uncertain terms, “That’s nice, now get your butt back to hoeing.”

That is my calling. I will never be special, do great things, or have influence beyond my life. But God was right…keep hoeing, be content with who you are, and things will all work out to His plan.

I wish it hadn’t taken me a lifetime to figure it out: Instead, I spent a lifetime trying to be something I’m not. When all along my pathetically-simple, little-self was exactly who God wanted me to be all along.

We can never shut off our stream of consciousness. B F Skinner said that STOPPING any behavior is difficult. But we can SUBSTITUTE behaviors much more easily. I personally carry a list of things that family and loved ones need…when my thoughts go negative, I force my brain to consider what I can do that is good. Things within my life. My “hoeing the fields”. It works for me at least.