I rarely drink, but I do smoke flower occasionally. It's funny, because just like you've described, I get mad at myself when I wake up dragging. The advantage of flower is breakfast and a shower and you're ready to go. But it builds and builds. My problem, like yours, is there is little connection between my morning promises and evening behaviors. And the fact that flower doesn't leave me incapacitated like alcohol gives me less incentive? And also, I have ADD which isn't helpful.

All of that said, I started a program like the old behavior modification techniques of years ago. I allow myself to smoke with friends when we plan an evening. All I have to do to allow myself to smoke is scribble why on a paper and review it in the morning. As stupid as it sounds, this works for me. And unlike alcohol, I don't think I need to quit totally? Recently I have controlled all of this pretty well.

This is a simple thing that helps me. I lost 130 pounds years ago, and kept it off. And with the flower, I used some of the same techniques. What you said resonated well with me. My reason for writing this was to present a complementary view to your experience. Because I related so well to what you have written.

And congratulations. I know you are proud.